If we are finite
what are we
simply existence
existential beings
energy
Feeling everything
and yet feeling nothing at all
pull in close
curl up into a ball
The light shines into the night
the sky in pure darkness
but the stars shine bright
we are limitless
yet imprisoned within our self made cages
spread your wings
and reach
the butterfly soars high
carried by the wind
away
disappearing into the clear nights sky
Early morning bright sunshine,
with a light that illuminates the earth and lifts the soul
From the darkness of sleep
and long winter nights
lift me from a slumber so deep
warm me with light.
In the darkness feel safe
do not be afraid
close your eyes and dream
of warm summer days
birdsong fills the air
oh mornings so fair.
saluting the magnificent energy of the sun
stretching a weary body from sleep
for adventure and fun
Let me approach this day with kindness in my heart
Patience and compassion
liberation from the part; part of my soul
than angers easily
let the embers dispearse
and the stream of serenity ebb and flow.
“Look at one person who annoys you, and use the opportunity to counter your anger and cultivate compassion. But, if the annoyance is too great – and that presense is too much – it may be better to look for the nearest exit!” – His Holiness, The Dalai Lama.
Letting go. Sounds like a fairly simple concept. Just let it go. Practice, make it a habit, it’s so simple, life is easier, if you can just let it go.
Maybe I am destined for a more difficult path, not programmed to ‘just let it go’. I seem to hold on for dear life, never forgetting moments which to other’s are insignificant, for some reason they have a deep and lasting impact upon me, imprinting themselves on my brain, and I cannot let go. Not for want of trying I hasten to add. There are many times when it seems as though I have managed it, but alas, nope, there they are, the moments, thoughts, feelings of anger, bitterness etcetera, hidden in a box, tucked away in a corner. I tripped over whilst enjoying a stroll up there and knocked the boxes flying, allowing them all to tumble out, and back into the forefront of my mind.
Frustrated and angry, I want to let go. My head does not have the capacity to deal with all these emotions – especially not the guilt and the shame – shoulds and should nots – I want to scream,”Fuck off, GO, Get out! I forgive, I accept, now just go!” But I think they are scared, they do not wish to leave. They are afraid to be alone out there, wherever it is they would go. “Don’t be afraid” I muse, “There is nothing to be scared of” – but I have a feeling that they don’t quite believe me – I don’t truly believe myself…..
Learning to believe. Believe that I can do this, believe in myself. In order to believe in myself, I must first know myself. Do I know myself? Let’s say that I do. I have confidence in my capabilities, and full awareness of my limitations. I have limits, in the sense that I will only allow myself to put up with so much before I put my foot down. Limitations are not negative in this context. They do not make me a prisoner within my own mind. Not letting go does.
So now, following an epithany, a light has been switched on and I now understand how to let go, how it’s not all personal. The nagging thought’s, the anger, bitterness, upset, and the moments which have all past, are free to leave. I no longer have any use for them. I don’t have to push or struggle. They are happy to go – the fear has diminished. Time moves forward, and old wounds are finally allowed to heal. The dust settles, and is gradually wiped away by the feather duster of life……
I am the darkness, but I am also the light. In one context I am tall, but in another i am small. My presence in an intimate setting has the power to overwhelm, yet in terms of the universe this power pales to seem insignificant in comparison. I am unique, yet the same. I may be alone, but I am one of millions. Seperate from the earth, yet completely connected at the same time. Distinctions can not be made, there is no reality which is simply black and white. Glorious technicolour with many speckles of grey. I see nothing, yet my visions are immense. I study the phenomena which is human life – therefore I am subject and object – I am the phenomena, we are existence. My reality will never be a carbon copy of another’s. Are things only real because we believe them to be so? Perceptions differ, pre-conditions taint my view. Warned not to judge, yet you ask for an opinion – tell me the importance of possessing strong convictions. At this point I falter, for I have none, but many changing. I am, to many, full of contradictions.
Beautifully broken bookworm 